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Navigating the Challenges of Expatriation: Insights from Dr. Catherine Koini and Andrew Kris

January 6, 2023
Borderless Leadership - article

In this episode of the Borderless Executive Podcast, Dr. Catherine Koini and Andrew Kris share their personal experiences and insights on living and working abroad as internationally mobile executives. From managing stress and anxiety, to adapting to a new culture, Catherine and Andrew offer valuable advice and strategies for navigating the challenges and rewards of expatriation. Tune in or read below to hear their stories and expert insights on thriving in a new environment.

Bridging the gap in international transitions

Andrew Kris

Catherine, Welcome! We’re really pleased to have you join us. I know this is a subject that’s often discussed but very rarely understood. You experienced the ups and downs and the benefits of expatriation but what actually led you to specialize in this area?

Dr. Catherine Koini

Thank you for that warm introduction, Andrew. I got into this whole area of research about 12 years ago when my family and I left London and moved to Frankfurt for our first international transition. And it was quite a difficult transition for all of us, but as with everything after a bit of time, things eventually got easier.

Five years later, we moved to Belgium and navigated a second international transition. What was interesting about our second move was that whilst it was easier for me (because I had already done it once), for our children, they all experienced it quite differently. It made me question what was the right thing to do. Is expatriation right for our family? Or should we ultimately just settle in one place? One of our children, at the time, had difficulties settling into his new school. I did some desk research on international transition and expatriation; I was surprised at the results and how gloomy the outlook was. A lot was said about loss, anxiety, grief, all really quite negative experiences. So, I thought, well surely this can’t all be it? And it was at a point where I had given up my career in Frankfurt to support my husband’s career.

Andrew Kris

I should have mentioned earlier on that you were a financial services executive, and that you’re not coming at this as an academic.

Dr. Catherine Koini

Well of course, and moving to Belgium meant that I pulled out of an industry that I was very familiar with; but I’d always had an interest in psychology, and I thought if not now, when?

So, I embarked on a career change. It took me about six years to attain a Master’s in Psychology and a PhD in Educational Psychology. I was drawn to this area because of my personal experiences. It led me to ask all these questions on a great subject that I am interested in. I really wanted to find out what is the impact of international transition on family wellbeing. Is it the right thing for my family or for other families ultimately? I want also to be able to support other families to navigate international transitions and in making the right choices, for them.

Andrew Kris

Your research seems particularly necessary; because there’s a gap in the literature. A lot of people give really good advice, but there is not enough scientific research that studies the impact of international transitions over time. And I believe you brought all the know-how together as part of your PhD research, didn’t you?

International transition is an ongoing process

Dr. Catherine Koini

Yes, that is right. Historically, research in this area has tended to look at the experiences of adult third culture kids[1] who are probably now in their 40s and 50s and look back on their experiences as children living abroad in Hong Kong, China, Africa, and so on.

When we look back on those experiences, while they are certainly useful at giving us a historical context, we need to get up to date information. Because if you transition to a new country now, your experiences are going to be very different from someone who is part of the now adult third culture kid generation. I wanted to fill this knowledge gap by undertaking a year-long study. Part of the problem is that international transition is not understood. People talk about transition as though it was a one-off event. Andrew, I know you’ve experienced multiple transitions as well.

Andrew Kris

Indeed. About four or five times.

Dr. Catherine Koini

So, you might well have had several questions from others like ‘how was the transition?’, as if it was a meal in a restaurant which somehow had an end. In truth, what we know from international transition is that it is an ongoing process that requires ongoing support. And my particular research in this area is the first study to obtain and collate the views of several families over a period of one year.

Andrew Kris

The first year is really crucial because you’re going up and down in terms of what you’re experiencing.

Dr. Catherine Koini

Definitely. We as humans inhabit different domains. We have a psychological domain, a professional domain, and for children, an educational domain. When you embark on an international transition, all of these domains are in a state of flux because there are so many changes going on all at the same time.

Preparing your family for the transition

Andrew Kris

Yeah, there are a lot of things involved. Some are easier practically, but they create immense amounts of stress. I think we’re not usually prepared and sometimes we just accept stresses as exciting challenges and hope for the best. We may have visited the location, wherever it is France or the USA or Switzerland. We maybe had a look and see, but that’s about all the preparation we had. I think you’re making a good point with your study highlighting the importance of early preparation from a family perspective.

Dr. Catherine Koini

You’re completely right. In terms of guiding families as they embark on a transition one of the top things to take away from this conversation is that ‘early preparation is key’. That’s not to say if you prepare early, you’re not going to encounter difficulties; but what the research has shown is that early preparation can help to ease anxiety and worries about the unknown. As parents, we must prepare our children early on and have those open conversations about the move – whether that’s in the car or around the dinner table. Just get talking and prepare as early as possible.

Andrew Kris

Indeed, it is important to have these discussions upfront in a familiar home environment. Prepare the whole family for the transition. There’s also this aspect of whether you’re going to have a quick day visit or go over for the weekend. To give more context on how crucial it is for families to come prepared, we actually have somebody going to Indonesia right now doing exactly that. So, what about preparation and familiarization? How does that work?

Familiarizing your family with the new environment

Dr. Catherine Koini

The key to a successful transition is to familiarize yourself with the new environment as early as possible. If possible try to schedule a couple of visits to the new country, the new place you are going to be living in and the new school. That is crucial, because we see a lack of familiarization can cause a huge amount of anxiety for expat children: Not knowing what the physical structure of the school looks like or the fact that they haven’t even met their new teacher. All these basic things that we take for granted as adults are actually very important for children. Familiarization is key; and not just thinking okay, one induction day is going to be enough, when in truth it’s actually not going to be enough. If you can, get your kids in the last week of the school year when they’re playing a bit more, and it’s not so academically focused, so they will at least know where things are and have met their peers and teachers. That really helps alleviate some of that unnecessary stress.

Andrew Kris

Yes. What you’re suggesting about the kids visiting the school they’re going to be at is a wonderful way to at least make some acquaintances, if not friends, in advance. I recall in our case, one of our children did a day exactly the same way before the school closed for the summer break. We were due to move in at the end of August, but during that period we were astonished to see constant social media exchanges with the kids that she had met in those classes, and by the time she arrived she knew them. And that was all because they took a day of familiarization, so the investment was incredibly worthwhile. Of course, you know if your children are happy [you are happy] as by definition you’re only as happy as your least happy child. Right? So, you know, that’s an enormous pressure taken off the children.

Dr. Catherine Koini

Yeah, that’s right.

Familiarizing your children as you prepare to transition is another important key takeaway from our conversation.

Transition and the role of HR

Andrew Kris

I was going to come back on one other point about preparation, the induction day and talking to people before you leave. While it’s nice to talk to people who’ve been residents in those countries, very often in my experience, the induction is done by somebody from HR who has got all the processes in place – but may not have actually lived in the country that you’re going to.

One of the things that I did previously, before becoming a consultant, was to bring in people that had lived there or had expatriated to those countries who could brief and talk about how life really was in the country we were about to go to and that was incredibly helpful. It just reinforces your point about really strong early preparation. It’s not just about a house hunting visit. You need to take the time do your research.

Dr. Catherine Koini

Yes. Just going back to what you mentioned about HR. I think HR professionals need some type of formal transition training. Because as you said Andrew, a lot of the time, you’ve got HR members of staff that may have not experienced an international transition themselves. Or maybe they have but on their own, so they haven’t done so with other family members, which we know is much more complex. So, some form of transition training for HR teams is really important.

Andrew Kris

I’m assuming that is something you would do actually. You have developed some programs as a consultant for that.

Dr. Catherine Koini

Yes. In addition, I think corporates and employers need to develop a shared understanding of what international transition is. That it is this ongoing process of adaptation and it’s not a one-off event. It can really help, just to have that understanding.

Navigating role changes in international transitions

Andrew Kris

We’ve spent a bit of time talking about children, but parents have quite a struggle sometimes too if their roles change. For example, you stopped your career and have obviously taken a fresh career path, but there’s this parental role stuff too that often doesn’t get discussed. How do you feel about that?

Dr. Catherine Koini

I think that it is crucial for partners to have a discussion, or a pre-discussion, of parental roles as early as possible. That’s definitely way before you’re signing any contract and agreeing to move. You need to have an open conversation about who’s going to do what when you move. If you both decide you’re going to work, fine that’s great. How’s it going to work in practice? Who’s going to pick up the kids? What other support are you going to get in place? These need to be clear and agreed upfront – who does what?

From my own experience, and also from the findings of my research, a lot of parents did feel a loss of identity because they moved and suddenly their professional role had evaporated overnight. So that obviously triggered psychological transitions and feeling unhappy, because they lost this identity.

Andrew Kris

You tend to associate yourself and who you are, your sense of self, with your profession.

Dr. Catherine Koini

Yes, of course.

And then if you suspend your professional life, it can mean losing your social networks too, because a lot of your friends are your colleagues, people who you meet on a daily basis. It’s paramount to discuss upfront about who’s going to do what Companies can do a lot here as well to support the spouse. If they want to work; not everybody that moves feels the need to work outside the home, or continue with their career. But if they do, then I really would recommend that employers support spouses with maybe updating or helping with their CV, or exploring work opportunities, or help finding voluntary opportunities. What is so important is having a sense of role, it is really necessary for all of us; sometimes just being a stay-at-home mom or house husband is not going to be enough.

Andrew Kris

Some companies are quite good at offering help and extra support. Local agencies, or our business, may have a role for you or suggestions to do something else. Some companies are good at that; but others completely disregard this by saying it’s up to you. “It’s your move. You decide.” And that’s really not very helpful. T point we’re making here is: the easier the transition, and the less stress there is in the family, the better that particular executive will perform. That’s often forgotten in this whole equation. If your private life and your personal life are aligned, and your kids are happy, you’re going to do so much better in your job. Right?

Dr. Catherine Koini

Definitely. So, it’s actually quite a short-sighted approach to think, okay, I’ve offered the expat a good contract. They have found a nice house, and so forth. To make transitions successful – and obviously we all want the transition to be successful – the spouse needs to be supported, and the transition into the new school needs to be successful.

Andrew Kris

Indeed, yes. And if you look back on your research, 12 months on for most families, the initial pain is largely gone. After about a year of settling-in, how do you see the benefits working out, and what does it look like longer term? From a professional point of view, it is pretty clear that an international move sets you up for other roles. That experience is so essential, particularly if you’re going into general management. From a family point of view too there are some strong benefits to be gained once initial difficulties are dealt with. How do you see that?

Dr. Catherine Koini

I think what emerges once you’ve gone through that initial challenging year with lots of ups and downs, is that it gets easier. I know from my own experience, and from my year-long research that families became much more resilient. Many talked about becoming closer and becoming a much more cohesive family unit. What was surprising and encouraging was that they talked about exploring further international opportunities. Even the children themselves, who were adamant at the beginning and said, ‘No, I’m returning – I’m going back home after two years’, having experienced life in a multicultural environment started saying ‘oh actually, I might go to the USA or somewhere else,’ – an absolute turnaround. So, I think that the positives we can take from all of this – is that transition can be very successful. And it can lead to growth in the family, in unity, cohesiveness, and so forth.

Andrew Kris

Yes. You’re doing a fine job in counselling individuals and families. I assume companies initiate that process, and you’re there to help set up programmes and develop a greater sensitivity to international mobility and relocation within companies.

Catherine, we’ve covered some terrific points, I hope that the right people in companies are listening and expatriates take heart, particularly if they’re going through some difficulties right now. Help is available and there is a bright side, which will be beneficial from a professional and a family point of view, too. Catherine, it has been a pleasure to talk with you. I know our clients and executives will have been stimulated by this conversation.

Andrew Kris

What’s the best way to contact you? Is that through your website?

Dr. Catherine Koini

Yes, that’s through my website: doctorkoini.com

Andrew Kris

We will remember that – thank you very much, Catherine. Thank you to our audience too for joining us and we’ll see you next month for another session of Borderless Executive Live.

Dr. Catherine Koini

Thank you, Andrew.

 

Dr. Catherine Koini: https://www.linkedin.com/in/catherinekoini/

Andrew Kris: https://www.linkedin.com/in/andrewkris/

[1] A term coined in 1960s pertaining to children who spent a significant portion of their lives abroad or outside their parent’s culture and homeland.

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